I have read Kelly's Korner for quite
awhile and linked up to her 'Show Us Your Life' one other time but I
really like this topic so I thought I'd link up again. This week SUYL is
all about new moms, which I find very appropriate for the week before
Mother's Day. Last year I celebrated my "first" Mothers Day with a sweet
baby girl living inside of me that I was already the mother of, but
this year I get to actually celebrate being a mom of a sweet baby I am
able to hold and love on.
I've wanted
to be a mom for as long as I can remember. I ALWAYS loved holding the
babies and being in the nursery at church and as soon I was allowed to I
started babysitting. I probably would have paid the parents to let me
babysit instead of being paid if I had to, but of course I didn't tell
them that. I became an aunt when I was in high school and I just adored
my niece. I would show her picture off to anyone that would look. I went
to nursing school to be a nurse and maybe eventually a midwife. My
dream is work in pediatrics or the OB, which is proving to be a lot more
difficult to get into than I thought it would be.
I
got married in June of 2009 and from day one I secretly hoped I'd get
pregnant even though we had talked about waiting for at least a year.
God knew that waiting that one year wasn't quite enough time and in
March of 2011 I found out I was expecting. I was in absolute shock. I
figured because I longed to be a mom so much that I would probably
struggle with getting pregnant and that I would have to wait a long
time, but that wasn't the case and sweet baby Hadley was born on
November 1, 2011 plunging me into motherhood. I had always thought I had
somewhat of an idea what being a mom was from babysitting and living
with my niece and nephew. I also thought I knew what it was to love
someone unconditionally despite what people told me, I thought I knew. I
HAD NO CLUE! haha Mother hood is the hardest job I've done (even harder
than nursing school at times) but it is also the most rewarding. I
never could have imagined the amount of love a baby could bring.
When
Joe and I were dating and talking about the future I remember him
telling me that he would want me to stay at home with our kids if it
were possible because that is how he was raised. At that time I thought
he was completely crazy. I was NOT going to stay at home. I went to
school for 4 years and worked hard to earn my nursing degree, there was
no way I was going to give all that up just to stay at home. Well little
did I know how much I would LOVE to stay home with my baby.
Unfortunately at this point we can't afford that but hopefully someday.
I have learned so much in these
short 6 months that I had no clue about before like babies, sleeping,
breastfeeding, immunizations, and mostly how selfish I was before. Now, I
am still selfish and will probably always struggle with that but there
are some things I've had to give up whether I wanted to or not, like
sleep, clean clothes, peace and quiet, a clean house but of course like
any normal mom I wouldn't trade any of it for my sweet baby girl. I try
really hard at night when she is fussing and all I want to do is go to
sleep to pray for her and to thanks God for giving my the opportunity to
raise her. I try so hard not to ever take that task for granite because
I know not every "mom" gets the opportunity to have a baby.
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