Struggles

The Bible can be difficult to understand at times and even seems to contradict itself if you don't read closely and while I am not able to completely understand every aspect I do try my best. 

A few weeks ago I was praying for something simple. I don't even remember the exact thing just that it was minor. When this thing didn't go my way I started to question God and my relationship. I thought about several times my "small" requests had not been answered and wondered if I was even saved. Now that might seem silly, well actually yes it was VERY silly, but yet that thought still went through my head. I went back to when I was saved and started questioning everything. I even prayed to be saved again. After my moment or two of self pity and "not getting my way with every prayer request" I started to think of the big things in life I have prayed for: a husband,  children, lots of thing concerning my kids like their safety and well being, safety on many trips and the list goes on. As I thought of these things I was reminded how each of them had been answered. I pray 'almost' nightly for my girls and that they will wake up in the morning and be okay. And up until now, they have! That's a LOT of answered prayers. I began to feel silly for questioning God and instead have tired to remember to thank Him for all the blessings and answered prayers in my life. Although I still struggle daily. 

Moving to another city has definitely brought up more fears and requests and after a minor (well, minor to me. My husband may disagree) meltdown yesterday I decide to give it all over to Jesus. (Which I should have done from the start....will I ever learn??) I prayed and prayed and did my best to just hand the burden over..... Always easier said than done. But once I did, I truly felt relieved. Now I didn't get everything I wanted answered today but I did get a few hints at things that may be headed in the right direction. God knew I needed a little pick me up.... More than the free ice cream I was given at Culvers last night. (Chocolate ice cream with peaches..... Does that seen odd to anyone else???) Anyway, lesson learned (and probably bit for the last time) Trust God. His choices, His timing and His ice cream toppings??? Thanks for reading my ramblings!!! 

A sweet baby face to make ready my blog worth it.